Saturday, November 19, 2005

This is War!

OK, that was the final straw. Nobody could possibly call me rash. I stood by patiently while christianism took over. I shrugged my shoulders while the Roman Empire collapsed. I snored through endless genocide. I was in the midst of my anachoresis. I was the Zen Master at the mountain top. I could not be touched.

Or so I thought.

I did not flinch when they turned TV into shit. I ignored it; I switched it off, and turned to my books. I did raise an eyebrow when they forced me to watch it on the subway. But I told myself, I am the Zen Master, I can let it wash through me, and emerge untouched. I furrowed my brow when they put it on the Bus I must take to work. The bus where I draw; where I think; where I let the sun shine on me, dozing off in the soft mix of voices, Portuguese, Brazilian, African accents, sometimes a more exotic one, sometimes just the purr of the engine, washing over me; where I sometimes meet a friend and chat the whole way; where lovers kiss in the back row and wish the traffic was heavier. My hand went to my scabbard, but I caught it. I thought: ”Peace must prevail!”

But today they forced me to look at this witch on their bloody TV screens:

(Note to user: here was a photo of the creature in question. I took it out because after a few days I could not stand to look at it on my blog. Suffice it to say that she was the notorious Portuguese presenter of Big Brother. Even her name is too repelent to print here - if you are a foreigner you are blissfuly unaware of who she is. Give grace and inquire no further. Just imagine your standard TV producer/presenter/beast from the deep)

They forced me to listen to her through their speakers. On my Bus! MY BUS! The one I paid good money to ride in! My MONEY! MY FUCKING BUS! For years I was free from that hateful voice, from her disgusting cackling, from the stench of her televised existence. This is the woman that brought us astrology and Big Brother (fucking TM). This is the Whore of Babylon , the Beast 666, the One I said from day one would drive the final stake through the heart of TV. The one who DID! Fine! Take TV, I said. Have it! I gave it to you. I stayed away from it. Now you force it upon me? Now you bring it to me? Are you insane? Do you know what you have unleashed? The sheep are angry now, they cannot be contained. They will flock downhill and crush you under their mighty hooves!

You asked for it, you have it now: THIS IS WAR!

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