Tuesday, February 21, 2006

It is probably immoral


...to make sadness look so sweet.

God says He's Sorry - I'm sorry too, Baby, but that's too little too late


Yes it is, you fucking bastard
Expect no mercy from me
I hope it drives you to the bottle
I hope it drives you to your grave
They should have known your heart
when you nailed your bastard son to the cross
for a cheap PR stunt
they should have known your heart
but they always forgive the rich spoiled brats
you were always the popular one, weren't ya?
you have that constant pout
and the greed and the monogamic drive
and the holier-than-thou attitude
and the alpha male posture
voted most likely to succeed
in being an asshole
I'll tell you what
you miserable senile old fart
if you'll stop buggering
those fetal cherubs for a sec
I'll let you in on a secret
Here it goes
I fucked your wife
when you were away on business
she still dreams of me sometimes
when she can't bear your face
and she wonders how she ended like this
I cannot bear your face
just wait 'till I get my hands on you
I'll take away that alpha male stance
I'll crack the obligatory square chin
that never knew a real fight
I'll show you how a man suffers
I'll show you how a man stands
I'll show you how a man bleeds

At the doctor's office (2)


I'm afraid it is broken...and the waiting list for cardiology is awful long these days.

At the doctor's office (1)

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Daryl Cagle's Cartoon Weblog

Daryl Cagle's Cartoon Weblog has an interesting sequence of posts on the whole Prophetic lunacy.

I would miss the angry light

Maximum Damage

If I had to decide upon a suicide note, I would write:


Because you haven't loved me well enough.

Yes, I mean YOU.



...and I would laugh all the way to hell, thinking of all the misunderstandings.

Maybe God would think it was him. And in fact, he'd be right. The bastard.

I cannot commit suicide. I lack the decorum to do even that in a serious manner.

Photographic indiscretions (1) - The Sumi-e trees


When I go, I think I will miss:

the pretty girls

the sumi-e trees in winter

these are the things that first come to mind

Draw-the-prophet-day, or: "No, I am Spartacus"

I propose that every blogger in the world, draughtsman or not, should draw a picture of the prophet on a specific set date. Call it the DIY-draw-the-prophet day. Not an insulting one, mind you, just a light-hearted picture, to show that we will not be enslaved by fear. What do you have to fear if you all do it at the same time? They cannot kill us all. Sugestions for a date are welcome.

And remember, all you have to fear is fear itself (and death and dismemberment and torture, of course, but I hate do dwell on petty details)

Put on a funny face


Because Islam desperately needs some good PR.

We present the new Ramadan shopping sensation for kids of all ages: the adorable, huggable, Happy Plush Prophet, with a smiling face and the ability to quote from the Koran at random intervals (batteries not included).

Retailers everywhere, do not miss on this new craze. It's sure to hit your store like a bomb!

American Indiscretion (2)


she did the funniest things with her lips. I tried to catch an expression, very fast. too fast.

American Indiscretion


Pretty All-American-Girl riding the Sintra train line yesterday, under heavy rain.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Working on Maths All Day (8)

Working on Maths All Day (7)

Working on Maths All Day (6)


Valentine's my ass. What we need is some more butt-ugly Goatse Porn.
Yeah, I know I'm one day late, so what? I forgot, ok? Stop crying, grow up!
Bitch!...(slap!)

Working on Maths All Day (5)

Working on Maths All Day (4)

Working on Maths All Day (3)

Working on Maths All Day (2)

Working on Maths All Day (1)

Working on Maths All Day (preface)

Inspiration did not strike. All this crap came out instead, oozing out of my cranial wastelands...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Who?



Now, who is this handsome gentleman, I wonder, who came screaming out of my mechanical pencil?

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Lies, Damned Lies, and Religion


"Don't you think it's a coincidence that the victim's body fell perfectly within the chalk outline?"
-The Pink Panther (remake)


Whoever had any concept of there being at least some honesty amidst the primitive stupidity of supposed Muslim rage, should be giving up that notion right now. There is nothing new and nothing special about these cartoons. The whole dirty thing is staged.

Right in the middle of Ramadan, on October 2005 an Egyptian newspaper could publish the accursed cartoons without consequence. Where was the outrage?


In the West, you can find dozens of representations of the prophet (they can be found around the net, just search on peer-to-peer) on various western publications (for instance, but not only, on the covers of various books concerning Islam).

You can find dozens of pictures of the prophet in museum exhibits, some of those being ancient pictures done by Muslims when the taboo was not - as in fact it IS still not - as absolute as one might think. Hell, you can even buy such pictures at the bazaars of the holy city of Qom, in Iran, bought and sold by the faithful.
And what about the fact that even South Park had a go at caricaturing the prophet some time ago to an audience of billions, with no uproar worthy of mention?

So innocuous were in fact the Danish cartoons that the radicals who incited these protests felt the need to fake three more - these ones really badly drawn and far more offensive - just to make sure to stir up some decent rage. The funny thing is that those three cartoons - including the very badly drawn one one calling the prophet a pedophile - were probably done by Islamic radicals. Did they cut their own hands afterwards in anger, I wonder?

What is the inescapable conclusion?

That the current violent protests are not only stupid and murderous but staged, on cue, and after months of negligible spontaneous reaction, by radical Islamic authorities that drive their faithful like cattle. Lies, damned lies, and religion.

That western politicians, including the Bush administration, should be groveling in such a shameful way to the whims of hysterical zealots and murderers is beyond shameful. A Portuguese politician recently likened the actions of the cartoonists to the actions of the Muslim radicals. I would advise him (and all others like him) that if he is going to be sodomized in our collective name, at least he should first get a map, since he can't get a clue, and do it while facing Mecca.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

at McDonald's - 2

at McDonald's

subway indiscretion 080206

Take a deept breath

...and back to our regular programming...

Theo-cracy


Theo Van Gogh goes to heaven and is appointed keeper of the pearly gates.



Since cartoons seem to be in fashion, I thought I'd roll my own. The profet is not portrayed, mind you, so can I sleep soundly or am I on the hit list now too? One never knows, with such delicate sensibilities...

If you are wondering about the goat-fucking bit, this is from Theo Van Gogh's entry at wikipedia:

Van Gogh rejected every form of organised religion. In the late 1990s he started to focus on Islam. He caused widespread resentment in the Muslim community by consistently referring to them as geitenneukers (goat-fuckers). Although it is not clear whether Van Gogh actually coined the term geitenneukers, he certainly popularized it. He felt strongly that political Islam is an increasing threat to liberal western societies, and said that, if he'd been younger, he would have emigrated to the U.S.A., which he considered to be a beacon of light in a darkening world.

Beacon my ass :). But, like Voltaire might affirm, I don't have to agree with everything he said in order to be pissed that he was butchered for saying it.

In Memoriam

Radical Islamists tell us that they are shocked by the drawings of the prophet. It strikes their sensibilities. Apparently pictures can hurt. I agree. Let me show you how much I agree.


With all this talk of martyrs of this and that, it is right about time to remember Theo Van Gogh, martyr of free speech. Assassinated by radical Islamist Mohammed Bouyeri on November 2004 for daring to criticize Islam. How's this picture for shock value? How does it strike your delicate sensibilities?


Is this the face of Islam? Or is it better portrayed by the riots, the death threats, the fear, the terror now spreading? Is this all that Islam has to give? The fear of speaking, writing, drawing, living freely among people of foreign countries?

Why should we then be interested in opening our doors to it?

Haven't we taken enough of another primitive middle-eastern, oppressive religion? Haven't we paid dearly enough for what freedoms we have? Do we need another mad, power-hungry parasitic priesthood to tell us what to do, what to think, who to fuck, how to feel? Enough, I say. Enough. We have expelled the crucified from the seat of power. We do not need the prophet in his place. The West will not become a theocracy. Better to let it all come down in pieces than to regress that much into the dark.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Free Speech

In the West there is a single religion I pay homage to. It's called Free Speech. So, you can go here and see the cartoons for yourself. I'll try to find a better quality link, but those I had seem to have gone down for now.

PS: Another link (thanks Hugo)

What face for Islam?

When a cartoonist wants to depict a certain well-known personality, it will pick up on its most salient features - a roman nose, a balding head, a peculiar moustache - and enlarge them to ridiculous proportions, therefore creating an image that, more than a photograph, will make you say "ah, it's that fellow!".

The current Muslim rage against a few third-rate drawings depicting the prophet Muhammad goes beyond all reason. Human lives are being lost, death threats have been issued, over a few lines on paper. And what did those lines represent? The cartoonists view of the physical features of the Prophet Muhammad? Hardly. More like their view of present-day Islam.

And in all this madness, the despicable violence from the Muslim radicals, and the moderates apparent inability to stem the tide, shows just one thing: that some of those cartoons hit pretty well upon what seem to be the most salient features of Islam today: mindless, primitive values and raging violent behavior. Muslim radicals are turning themselves into a caricature of those same cartoons they deem insulting.

It is time the moderates show us that they are right about what Islam is. Or let us take our own conclusions. In the end, it is Muslims who decide what face Islam will wear, and whether that face is an acceptable one for a religion that intends to have a place in the West.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

My Singular Nemesis


Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!
-Moby-Dick

When I kill it, it will be a dirty kill. A sloppy kill. Contempt, slight regard, no more. A spiteful, unclean slaughtering, its carcass spread all over the abatoir, unfit for consumption, unfit for burial. A passional slaying, a slave's revolt, I will spit on its corpse and turn my back on it in anger. Or shall I find respect for it, once rid of its yoke?

Indiscretion # 31January 06 - Subway