SOS BusTV

One of the most surreal ads on BusTV, currently, is the one by SOS racismo, a Portuguese organization against racism. Why surreal? First because the whole ad is based upon a childish music that registers on the high frequencies and gets into your head in a truly horrid way. Really, on a bus it sound so condescending, I have hallucinations about being treated like one of those poor old men that fall into those terrible nursing homes that treat them like children - or like sheep. Second, because it is quite amazing that a supposedly humanitarian association should torture citizens like this.

Don't you realize that your little ad does nothing but make people angry - and therefore turn them against you, and, by association, against your cause? Why do you share ad space usually reserved for parasites like Cofidis and friends? Are you just another money-grabbing corporation?

The only way your ad connects with your cause is that it is truly - dare I say it? - indiscriminate. Like Carpet bombing.

Is that what you mean by being against discrimination? That you torture all citizens in the same measure, without care for colour or religion?

I will assume you just made a mistake. I will assume it, of course, once you take your ad out of BusTV and stop implicitly supporting this attack upon the human rights of citizens.

PS: Oops! SOS racismo has answered my email and stated they have no knowledge of such and ad. I am pretty sure that I am not mistaken, but my disgust for ads on public transportations (and the fact that I mostly hear them, not look at them) may have caused me to confuse them with some other association of the same type. I will clarify this tomorrow, until then consider this post as an un-confirmed rumour, with apologies if I do turn out to be mistaken.

UPDATE: The ad was not running today anymore, so I couldn't confirm the logo on it, but I asked another passenger if she remembered the ad and she said she remembered it clearly and that the logo was indeed from "SOS racismo". So this isn't really proof, but either we are all going senile or "SOS racismo"'s right hand doesn't know what the left is doing...I still haven't heard back from them, so I'll just wait...

Shanghai Daily reports:

Bus stops to install TV screens

Waiting for the bus will no longer be quite so boring as bulletin boards with TV screens will be installed at bus stops. The screens will broadcast everything from entertainment programs and traffic news to weather forecasts and how long it will take before the next bus arrives, the Shanghai Urban Transport Bureau announced yesterday. The screens will be installed at more than 3,000 stops and the project will be completed by 2007. (...)

(Shanghai Daily, 2005-11-25 05:18:13)


In other news, TV screens to be installed at the crapper in your bathroom. TV screens to be installed at hospital surgery rooms. TV screens to be installed in prison cells at Guantanamo Bay. I have an idea: Why don't they just install them inside our eyelids at birth and be done with it once and for all? Waiting for death "will no longer be quite so boring". There's nothing boring about torture, after all.

Auditory Terrorism

The first time I noticed BusTV (on a Vimeca Bus) was quite curious. I was reading my book when suddenly I heard the rat-tat-tat of a machine gun going off, which I thought was quite at odds with the usual auditory landscape of Lisbon's outskirts. Were we being attacked by a bunch of Al-Qaeda operatives armed with ak-47s and an itch to scratch? I'd rather wish we were, at least Bin Laden I could handle - but when I lifted my eyes and noticed the TV screen for the first time, I knew we were in real trouble!...

Now, I don't know about you, but I think that a commercial for a first-person shooter ("Battlefield 2", as I recall) is not exactly what people need on their commute to the job at 8 AM. Not exactly relaxing to hear plastic explosive cum small weapons fire simphonies in a crowded bus. The insensitivity of the choice is quite amazing in fact. Would they play the same commercial in a London Bus? I am sure any Londoner would appreciate crossing Tavistock Square by the sound of explosives going off! I can just picture them on the mobile: "Could you say that again, love? I couldn't catch it because of the rocket launcher firing". What about on the subway, would you appreciate such a commercial there? Who the hell decides these things? Are they imbecils?

Are they terrorists?

BusTV: Why in English?

Why do I write in English about Portuguese BusTV - clearly a local matter? Because it is not local.

BusTV is a global menace that is already spreading. Corporate drones do not miss any niches. There is BusTV in Portugal now, but there are also plans to take it to Spain. There is BusTV in some London buses now, I've seen it myself. And there is a veritable plague of BusTV in Hong-Kong. A group of citizens has protested this abomination over there (see the "Hush the Bus" campaign site). I found their site accidentaly while googling for information on Portuguese BusTV, and found their predicament, and their views on it, quite similar to mine. This BusTV absurdity probably exists in many other places, but I am not aware of it (info is appreciated, especially if it has actually been stopped somewhere).

This is something that must be stopped now, and stopped everywhere. Even if we lose the fight in Portugal it can be won elsewhere - and I am hoping that some country in Europe will have the strength to bring this up at the EC level and legally ban this thing from the whole EU, as the attack that it is upon the rights of citizens.

Requiem for a mane

"Some of my worst mistakes were haircuts" - Jim Morrison

"Quinctilius Varus, give me back my legions."-Cesar Augustus

Is this what a man is supposed to look like? - Tyler Durden

No longer Pan, Rasputin, Ahab. Chaser of White Whales, Vilifier of Temples, Sodomizer of Saints, Herald of the Last Days - no longer . I should never have shaved. How will I now recruit my mad lieutenants in this bedlam of chemically imbalanced consumers?

Not with this sad, hairless Gabriel, staring back at me from beyond the Looking Glass. That's it, the revolution is on hold 'till I recover my mane.

Is this Worst?

Thus sitting, thus consulting, thus in arms?

In such a place the divine Marquis built a theatre company.
I shall build an army of exiles.

Bush-TV, or: I could use some help here

Illustration: the Cheney-Bus

I know how I'll get some help on this BusTV thing: I'll just misspell it "Bush-TV" and I'll have the Portuguese Communist Party all over it! :)

After all, it shouldn't really be too hard to make a CIA connection plausible - Dick Cheney, that paladin of human rights (and grand inquisitor), did say that torture is ok under extreme circumstances, and Bush-TV is just an example of that policy (it is certainly torture and what could be more extreme than greed?)

Now, a bit more seriously, I know that this cause doesn't look as glamorous as, say, stopping the war on Iraq or ending world hunger or something, but it has a few advantages over that:

1) It is a local issue that you can actually win! Actually winning once in a while would be refreshing for morale, don't you think?

2) This is actually a skirmish in a big, important battle:

Most of my left-wing friends complain that the common citizen is not "politically aware". That means, in PC-slang, "these assholes don't think". Well, how can they? They are working all day, they are submerged in TV all night, they can only think during their commute! Why do you think they placed TVs on buses? People must not be allowed to leave their stupor, otherwise they might start to hear voices in their heads! Dangerous, alien, forgotten voices: their own thoughts. Silence, that dangerous vaccum, must be crushed at all times.

This is a battleground were you should not give an inch. And you are standing by while you lose once more crucial ground to what you would call the forces of capitalism ( or something like that - I think it is rather corporate feudalism, but I shall not argue over that right now).

Wake up. Small, real battles, is where the action is. Revolutions are won one small skirmish at a time.

Sheep of the world, Unite! :)

on the bus today

unfinished (forever?)

Hi, Ana :)

here is your portrait, still unfinished - right before I spoil it :)

Ok, this is a slightly different drawing from most others on this blog, as it came from a photo. I took more time on it, though still not very long. But there is something mechanical about it, which is a very common result of drawing from photographs. I decided to take it into a whole new direction in order to change that. It is very terrifying to do such a thing, as you always fear you'll just ruin it and lose all your hard work. But you have to try it anyway or you'll always be unsatisfied. So, I took this photo of it in case it's the last time I see it. :)

Don't worry, ana, I'll draw you another if things go wrong :)

Happy to be a sheep

"I've seen the future baby: it is murder"-Leonard Cohen

Some people are just happy to be sheep.

In this boring questionaire at reader's digest some Portuguese guy actually elected BusTV as a reason for liking the bus. He answers, to the question "What is your preferred type of public transportation?":

(The Bus)"because it invested in the future by introducing BusTV and (...) air conditioning."

Well, I've seen the Future, baby: It is murder.

I am still wondering if he wasn't a troll payed by BusTV to spread the meme. Adding insult to injury, not only have the Bus operators recently increased their fares, now they claim that BusTV is one of the benefits we get from those increased fares and subsequent investiment, while actually BusTV brings them revenue at the expense of our rights.

Then again, maybe he is being sincere. Who knows what they are putting into that conditioned air!

And, indeed, some people are just happy to be sheep.

(image depicts new safety straps and protective head gear to be introduced into the Bus of "the future")

Why We Fight

Why do we fight? What is the issue?

We take arms against an abomination that goes by the name of BusTV. The concept is simple: the daily users of public buses are easy victims once they enter them. As soon as you cross the threshold you are snugly fitted into a prison of glass and metal within which you have no ability to evade whatever your hosts choose to throw at you. You are sequestered. So they place this big television screen at the front of the bus, and spend the whole day repeating this tape they call “BusTV”, that consists of nothing but repetitive adds intermixed with obnoxious jingles and sorry excuses for interviews, game shows, whatever. The ads are really all that matters.

Now, the special twist is – unlike other long-range buses that have television screens, this Bus TV emits its sound not through optional earphones – but through a series of common speakers embedded in the walls- so you have to listen to this drivel whether you want it or not.

The trap is perfect. Since most operators enjoy a practical monopoly over their routes, there is really nothing to do, for most people, except put up with it every day, twice a day.



Can you imagine? A once relaxing trip to the office is now a hell on wheels, where twice a day you must hear the same repetitive ads, over and over, many times in each trip, until you know them by heart, until you cannot take them out of your head, until they make your brain bleed, until you hear them in your dreams.

This is cruel and unusual punishment. This should be forbidden for the exact same reason that it is forbidden to smoke in a bus – because you cannot leave by your own means. You cannot avoid it. You are trapped. This is bad for you brain. This makes people angry. This disturbs the peace. It is an affront, an attack, an aggression to the paying public and it has to be stopped.

Unless we have indeed became all slaves. All serfs. All sheep.

BusTV is a form of torture inflicted upon the citizens. It is mind control. It is brainwashing. It must be banned from public transportation by force of law.

This little sheep has gone to war

(picture: Picasso's Don Quixote, sheep-ified)

This little sheep went to market.
This little sheep stayed home.
This little sheep had roast beef.
This little sheep declared War!

Ultimatum

"Concede but one village and there shall be no war"- The Mahabharata

I will close my eyes to your atrocities, if you concede but this:

Remove your abominations from Vimeca's Bus Route #11 from Linda-a-Velha to Marquês de Pombal.

Concede but this, and there shall be no war.

Cry Havoc, and let slip the sheep of War!

"And Caesar's spirit, ranging for revenge,
With hate by his side come hot from hell,
Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice
Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war;"

- William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, Act III, Scene I.

This is War!

OK, that was the final straw. Nobody could possibly call me rash. I stood by patiently while christianism took over. I shrugged my shoulders while the Roman Empire collapsed. I snored through endless genocide. I was in the midst of my anachoresis. I was the Zen Master at the mountain top. I could not be touched.

Or so I thought.

I did not flinch when they turned TV into shit. I ignored it; I switched it off, and turned to my books. I did raise an eyebrow when they forced me to watch it on the subway. But I told myself, I am the Zen Master, I can let it wash through me, and emerge untouched. I furrowed my brow when they put it on the Bus I must take to work. The bus where I draw; where I think; where I let the sun shine on me, dozing off in the soft mix of voices, Portuguese, Brazilian, African accents, sometimes a more exotic one, sometimes just the purr of the engine, washing over me; where I sometimes meet a friend and chat the whole way; where lovers kiss in the back row and wish the traffic was heavier. My hand went to my scabbard, but I caught it. I thought: ”Peace must prevail!”

But today they forced me to look at this witch on their bloody TV screens:

(Note to user: here was a photo of the creature in question. I took it out because after a few days I could not stand to look at it on my blog. Suffice it to say that she was the notorious Portuguese presenter of Big Brother. Even her name is too repelent to print here - if you are a foreigner you are blissfuly unaware of who she is. Give grace and inquire no further. Just imagine your standard TV producer/presenter/beast from the deep)

They forced me to listen to her through their speakers. On my Bus! MY BUS! The one I paid good money to ride in! My MONEY! MY FUCKING BUS! For years I was free from that hateful voice, from her disgusting cackling, from the stench of her televised existence. This is the woman that brought us astrology and Big Brother (fucking TM). This is the Whore of Babylon , the Beast 666, the One I said from day one would drive the final stake through the heart of TV. The one who DID! Fine! Take TV, I said. Have it! I gave it to you. I stayed away from it. Now you force it upon me? Now you bring it to me? Are you insane? Do you know what you have unleashed? The sheep are angry now, they cannot be contained. They will flock downhill and crush you under their mighty hooves!

You asked for it, you have it now: THIS IS WAR!

Thank you!

With infinite patience, the professional artist allowed the amateur artist to draw her. Many thanks :). One of these days *you* must draw me :)

The Pencil's been drinking not me

Three drawings to show that drawing in a pub is raising the bar too much (haha), all three of them depicting my new Italian friends and our shared meal at the very cozy "Ar Puro" Brazillian bar, in Lisbon's Bairro Alto.

It was too bloody dark for drawing. And I was sober, really. No, F., your nose is not that big, I promise. And you are too bloody hard to draw, I told you! :) My apologies to all my victims, I'll try again later. :)

Just for the cheap pun

Get this into your thick skull.

at the cafe

Fun and Games

Reminder to myself: Japanese-style Moleskines are naturally suited for the playing of exquisite corpse. Must try this ASAP.

I love such little drawing games. Cully just introduced me to the concept of Sketch Crawling, which I definitely must try soon, preferably with friends. I guess I did it before, but it becomes something else once you name it and do it deliberately. Just like naming an anatomic feature suddenly allows you to perceive it (and thus draw it) better.

He sugested that I should give some name to my habit of following moving people around as I draw them, and make it into another such game/exercise. Frankly. Cully, its quite easy to name: Sketch Stalking! :D

But I wonder (don't you?) if that's really something one would like to be responsible for starting... >:->

Subway Invasion

Well, let's see...thanks to this fellow called Stejahen, I bumped into this fellow called Cully, who also goes around drawing people on the subway and other such places. Cully furthermore reminded me of this Tom guy (and his minions :)), and pointed out this lady called Miyuki, who both also indulge in our rather curious addiction. And, come to think of it, I remember now this Portuguese guy called António Jorge Gonçalves, who, it seems, actually got paid to go around the world drawing subway life. I'd actually hate him for it (human jealousy being what it is) if he wasn't also the guy who co-authored (with Rui Zink) this wonderful graphic novel called "A Arte Suprema", that I enjoyed so much...

So, my point is...aren't we crowding the subway already? All these guys, going around on the underground with their ballpoint-pens and mechanical pencils hidden beneath their long charcoal-dusty trenchcoats? What if we meet by chance? Do we draw (yes, I know) "swords" and sketch each other into submission, "In-the-end-there-can-be-only-one!"-style? :)

Or maybe just team up and terrorize the poor commuters. :)

Time to come clean

In other news, a Vatican spokesman stated today:

"In fact, it is time to come out of the closet and acknowledge that a great part of the Bible is metaphorical and not at all to be taken literally. Like that ressurection thing. And, well, the whole "God" thing, in fact. The idea that "God" may not in fact exist is perfectly compatible with the Bible, when it is properly interpreted. It is time to put away childish things, surrender the fairy tales, start acting like adults, and acknowledge that we are a multinational in the business of applied ethics and metaphysics. And real estate, of course."

(Ok, so maybe I made this one up. But just wait for it :))

Krazy Kansas Kristians are the retard relative nobody likes to acknowledge

Am I the only one to find it strangely disturbing, even somewhat titilating, when the Vatican State shows itself to be more progressive than the State of Kansas?

Kansas Board goes Overboard:

The Kansas Board of Education approved new science standards for teachers in public schools Tuesday that question Charles Darwin's teachings on evolution and hand a victory to advocates of "intelligent design." (...) The board's 6-4 vote reverses a 2001 decision that affirmed Darwin's theory of natural selection. That vote came two years after most references to the theory were removed from state standards, making Kansas the butt of jokes by scientists and late-night comedians. (USA TODAY)

Holy Trinity, PopeMan! PopeMobile to the rescue!

Vatican issued a defence of Darwinian evolution at a news conference Thursday.
In what many are calling a direct attack on the rising support for fundamentalist creationism in America, Cardinal Poupard, head of the Vatican Pontifical Council for Culture, stated that the Genesis description of God's creation of the universe and Darwin's theory of evolution are "perfectly compatible" if the bible is properly interpreted.(Wikinews)

...went hunting for the sun.

the day the moon...

I had completely forgotten about these two quick sketches I had done on that mini-expedition for astronomical cannibalism.

J.

Hi, J., look what I found, sorting through my old notebooks.
Bet you had forgotten about this one :)
All the best to you...:)

Bus Ride (3)

Bus Ride (2)

Bus Ride (1)

Lisbon Subway